Friday, June 15, 2012

Got Confidence?


One of the core issues I coach my clients on is confidence. I found a great book with lots of juicy material on how to bridge the gap between fear and confidence called "The Confidence Gap" by Russ Harris. 

5 Main Reasons for Low Self-Confidence-
  1. Excessive expectations
  2. Harsh self judgement
  3. Preoccupation with fear
  4. Lack of experience
  5. Lack of skills  
Which of these reasons is holding you back from doing something that's on your bucket list?  According to Harris, here's how you get good at doing anything: First practice the skills necessary to accomplish your goal.  Second, apply them effectively. Third, assess the results, and fourth, modify as needed.  That's it.  It may seem oversimplified, but it's the truth. Don't allow yourself to believe that you must wait until you feel more confident to attempt something a little scary.

Here are the rules of confidence according to "The Confidence Gap":

Rule 1-
The actions of confidence come first; the feelings of confidence come later.

Rule 2-
Genuine confidence is not the absence of fear; it is the transformed relationship with fear.

Rule 3-
Negative thoughts are normal.  Don't fight them; defuse them.

Rule 4-
Self-acceptance trumps self-esteem.

Rule 5-
Hold your values lightly, but pursue them vigorously.

Rule 6-
True success is living by your values.

Rule 7-
Don't obsess about the outcome; get passionate about the process.

Rule 8-
Don't fight your fear; allow it, befriend it, channel it.

Rule 9-
Failure hurts- but if we're willing to learn, it's a wonderful teacher.

Rule 10-
The key to peak performance is total engagement in the task.

Ask yourself these questions- if you had unlimited confidence, how would you behave differently? How would you talk to yourself?  What would you start doing?  What would you stop doing? Now act as if you already have the confidence you think you need to move forward.  Let me know what daring adventure you embark upon when you take a risk and jump into the unknown!