Sunday, March 31, 2013

HOW I WENT FROM CRAPPY TO HAPPY



4 ½ years ago I was a sorry sight. 
Three of my most important relationships were in the crapper…my sister and I weren’t speaking, things with my best friend were going downhill fast, and my husband and I were ready to kill each other.  
My sons were 13 and 16 then, well into the” I’m embarrassed I even have parents” stage. 
I was in my 7th year of working at a job that was low paying, and challenging only to my nerves rather than my skill set, because I’d spent the past 16 years raising my family, not pursuing my dream career. I’d sacrificed my own personal goals to support my husband’s career, run our household and be a mother. 
 I was banging my head against the wall every day trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. 
Why couldn’t I figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up? 
I was depressed, confused and pissed off.

One day I did something “selfish”. 
I went to an all day Oprah Magazine seminar that featured experts in their fields who write for her magazine.
I saw Martha Beck speak about her love of training life coaches, and a flash of possibility jolted through me. 
What if I could be a life coach?
I usually was the one who had my shit together. 
I loved helping my friends, family and students make brave steps, define boundaries, and helped them believe in themselves. 
I took a huge personal risk and enrolled in Martha’s program- full of terror and self- doubt. 
The economy was in shambles, financial institutions collapsing daily, President Obama had just been elected and the fear in the air was palpable. 
What a great time to start a new business!?!?!

Jumping forward into today where I am happier and more fulfilled than I ever thought possible.
I have wonderful new and different relationships with my sister and my friend.
My husband and I just celebrated our 22nd anniversary, and Alex has been inspired by my success to throw off his corporate shackles and start his own business. 
My boys are now young men who’ve proudly watched me build a thriving coaching practice from the ground up.
I have the most amazing group of people in my life now, none of which would have happened if I hadn’t made that huge leap in the darkness in 2008. 
The universe has conspired to assist me since I made up my mind, and got out of my own way. 
Here’s what I’ve stopped doing that's transformed my life….
  1. I stopped living in fear.
  2. I stopped trying so hard.
  3. I stopped trying to fix other people
  4. I stopped thinking that success has to be difficult.
  5. I stopped thinking I have to work first, and play later to be successful.
  6. I stopped strategizing and being so damned logical.
  7.  I stop and rest when I am tired rather than pushing through.
  8.  I stopped hiding from my gifts.
  9.  I stopped watching the crime blotter, otherwise known as “the news”.
  10.  I stopped playing small so that other people would like me.

 Next month. I’ll tell you more about how I stopped doing these things, and what I started doing instead.